Countering Peer Pressure

The Bear Essentials by Stand and Jan Berenstain


When four year old Billy came home with mud all over, he said "the other kids were rolling in mud, so I had to do it too." It's tempting to ask "Don't you have a mind of your own" or "If the other kids jumped off a cliff, would you do it too" Since the answers to those questions may well be "no" and "yes", its best not to go there. Instead, preparing your youngster for what lies ahead, your approach might go something like this: "You know sometimes your friends want you to do something you shouldn't. I remember one time when I was a little girl, my friend..." It is a good idea to warn Junior about the dare, the cry of "chicken!". Instead of remonstrating with Junior for acceding to peer pressure, arm him against it with some pithy responses like "I don't take dares. It's dumb!" or "It takes one to know one!" Many kids get into trouble for the simple lack of something to say. When he gets older, and the time comes to impose punishments, it may be useful tp include peer pressure in your bill of particulars. "Son, I want you to understand that your mother and I are grounding you not so much for what you did, but for letting your silly friends talk you into it."

Sometimes it is best to grin and bear your teen's fads and fancies and save your parental authourity of alcohol, drugs and sex. Also the most important word in any crisis involving teens is negotiate. "Have you thought that the tattoo is permanent? Wouldn't it clash with your clogs? How about if we change it to a little butterfly on your hip?"